Meet the Mohel Interview Series
Dr. Stacy Rubtchinsky
September, 2011 - Rabbi Shira Shazeer
Whether you know in advance you’re having a boy or you find out at birth, choosing a mohel (ritual circumcision specialist) can be a nerve-wracking decision if you don’t know who to ask. We’re lucky to have a long list of choices in Boston which should allow each family to choose a mohel whose procedure and style they feel most comfortable with. But it’s a big job to call them all and figure out what the differences are between them. We’re conducting interviews with as many of the mohalim (pl. mohel) in the Boston area as we can, asking the questions parents want to know, and passing that information on to you. Watch the video to get a feel for what it’s like to meet the mohel, and find more information, questions and answers below.
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Questions and Answers
How did you decide to become a mohelet? What about it do you find compelling?
I decided to become a Mohelet because I want to bring my love of Judaism to this very challenging and beautiful ritual. I have been to many Brises of family members and friends and I would find that I would leave the Simcha [celebration] feeling less than joyful. I wanted to bring calm to the parents and joy to the guests as we fulfilled this Mitzvah [commandment] together.
Can you tell me a bit about your procedure, what kind of instruments you use, how long it takes...?
First, I arrive at the family's home about an hour before hand to examine the child and to apply EMLA (lidocaine) cream to the penis. Then about 5 minutes before the ceremony starts, I remove the EMLA which provides superficial numbing to the area and I inject a small amount of lidocaine to the base of the penis to provide the baby with a thorough anesthetic. The procedure takes approximately 45 seconds. Most of that time is preparing the foreskin for removal. I use a Mogen clamp.
What is your approach to pain relief, and why?
Besides the EMLA cream and the lidocaine injection I mentioned above, I also have the baby sucking on a pacifier dipped in sugar water or sweet wine. Either one has sugar in it and the sugar and the sucking are what is most soothing for the baby.
What about restraining the baby? Do you use a restraining board, have someone hold the baby on a table, or on their knees?
I have done it both ways, but prefer to use a restraining board. I have found that the Sandek [something like a godfather / honored guest who holds the baby] is often very nervous and applies an inordinate amount of pressure on the baby in order to keep him still. The velcro knee straps on a board are gentle and easy to put on and off.
Do you practice metzitza (suctioning the wound)? If so, what is your method?
No.
Which elements of your procedure are you willing or able to adjust at parents’ request?
In general, as long as the baby has one type of anesthetic (EMLA or lidocaine), I will do the circumcision for them. I will not do a circumcision without some anesthetic for the baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using anesthetic for circumcision and I do too!
Can you tell me about the ceremony you conduct? What’s your style?
The Bris ceremonies that I lead are inclusive and spiritual and educational. I take my role as a Mohelet very seriously and use this opportunity to hopefully teach guests about the beauty of this ancient ritual. This is a time for a family to gather their family and friends and to re-affirm their faith in G-d and to re-iterate their hopes and dreams for their baby's Jewish future. It is a serious moment, but aso a very joyful time.
What do you like to emphasize as the significance of the bris?
At each Brit Milah, I remind the guest that the words "Brit Milah" literally mean the "Covenant of Circumcision"--this is a pact, a trust, a promise between G-d and the Jewish people. Our lives are always interacting with G-d, but giving birth to a new child reminds us of this constantly miraculous world that we have the honor of living in! I remind guests that even though they might not be observant Jewish people, this Covenant was still given to them as a gift.
Do you have any guidelines for guests who the parents ask to participate in the ceremony?
I speak with each honored guest before the ceremony to help them understand exactly what their roles are and to help them feel as comfortable as possible.
Do you like working with the family’s Rabbi or Cantor if they have one? How do you work with or accommodate families who want to craft a personalized ceremony?
I love working with the family's Rabbi or Cantor! Milah [circumcision] is a mitzvah that must be fulfilled by the community if the father does not want to fulfill it. Having a Rabbi or Cantor with me as the leader of the community helping to fulfill this Mitzvah is just perfect. As far as a personalized ceremony, I tell families that they are welcome to use ritual objects or poems or songs--whatever they would like to use to help make the ceremony more meaningful for them.
What is the best way for parents to contact you and the best timing? What can parents expect when they contact you to ask you to perform the bris?
Families sometimes contact me before the baby is born to ask questions and get comfortable with me. Once the baby is born, I ask families to call me as soon as they can so that I can appropriately schedule the Bris.
How do you ask parents to prepare themselves and the baby?
I have a check list of items necessary for the Bris on my website (www.mybris.com). I also include a list of honors so that the parents can start to think about who they would like to include in the ceremony.
What happens after the Bris? Do you follow up with parents? What if the parents are concerned about something?
After the Bris, I examine the baby once more and review aftercare instructions with the parents. I call the following day to check-in again. I advise all families to call me anytime day or night if they are concerned about anything.
Do you work with interfaith couples, same-sex couples, adopted children? Do any of these issues change how you conduct the bris?
Since I am a Conservative Mohelet, I will work with interfaith couples if the mother is Jewish and the family has chosen to raise their child with Judaism as his only religion.
For interfaith couples with a non-Jewish mother, I advise them to speak with a Rabbi about their intentions and the possibility of converting the child to Judaism.
With same-sex Jewish couples- who birth their own children there are no additional issues.
For adopted children, I work with Rabbis to help guide the family through the conversion.
Every family is unique and I advise all families with questions about Brit Milah to call or email me and I will be happy to help them in any way that I can.
How did you decide to become a mohelet? What about it do you find compelling?
I decided to become a Mohelet because I want to bring my love of Judaism to this very challenging and beautiful ritual. I have been to many Brises of family members and friends and I would find that I would leave the Simcha [celebration] feeling less than joyful. I wanted to bring calm to the parents and joy to the guests as we fulfilled this Mitzvah [commandment] together.
Can you tell me a bit about your procedure, what kind of instruments you use, how long it takes...?
First, I arrive at the family's home about an hour before hand to examine the child and to apply EMLA (lidocaine) cream to the penis. Then about 5 minutes before the ceremony starts, I remove the EMLA which provides superficial numbing to the area and I inject a small amount of lidocaine to the base of the penis to provide the baby with a thorough anesthetic. The procedure takes approximately 45 seconds. Most of that time is preparing the foreskin for removal. I use a Mogen clamp.
What is your approach to pain relief, and why?
Besides the EMLA cream and the lidocaine injection I mentioned above, I also have the baby sucking on a pacifier dipped in sugar water or sweet wine. Either one has sugar in it and the sugar and the sucking are what is most soothing for the baby.
What about restraining the baby? Do you use a restraining board, have someone hold the baby on a table, or on their knees?
I have done it both ways, but prefer to use a restraining board. I have found that the Sandek [something like a godfather / honored guest who holds the baby] is often very nervous and applies an inordinate amount of pressure on the baby in order to keep him still. The velcro knee straps on a board are gentle and easy to put on and off.
Do you practice metzitza (suctioning the wound)? If so, what is your method?
No.
Which elements of your procedure are you willing or able to adjust at parents’ request?
In general, as long as the baby has one type of anesthetic (EMLA or lidocaine), I will do the circumcision for them. I will not do a circumcision without some anesthetic for the baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using anesthetic for circumcision and I do too!
Can you tell me about the ceremony you conduct? What’s your style?
The Bris ceremonies that I lead are inclusive and spiritual and educational. I take my role as a Mohelet very seriously and use this opportunity to hopefully teach guests about the beauty of this ancient ritual. This is a time for a family to gather their family and friends and to re-affirm their faith in G-d and to re-iterate their hopes and dreams for their baby's Jewish future. It is a serious moment, but aso a very joyful time.
What do you like to emphasize as the significance of the bris?
At each Brit Milah, I remind the guest that the words "Brit Milah" literally mean the "Covenant of Circumcision"--this is a pact, a trust, a promise between G-d and the Jewish people. Our lives are always interacting with G-d, but giving birth to a new child reminds us of this constantly miraculous world that we have the honor of living in! I remind guests that even though they might not be observant Jewish people, this Covenant was still given to them as a gift.
Do you have any guidelines for guests who the parents ask to participate in the ceremony?
I speak with each honored guest before the ceremony to help them understand exactly what their roles are and to help them feel as comfortable as possible.
Do you like working with the family’s Rabbi or Cantor if they have one? How do you work with or accommodate families who want to craft a personalized ceremony?
I love working with the family's Rabbi or Cantor! Milah [circumcision] is a mitzvah that must be fulfilled by the community if the father does not want to fulfill it. Having a Rabbi or Cantor with me as the leader of the community helping to fulfill this Mitzvah is just perfect. As far as a personalized ceremony, I tell families that they are welcome to use ritual objects or poems or songs--whatever they would like to use to help make the ceremony more meaningful for them.
What is the best way for parents to contact you and the best timing? What can parents expect when they contact you to ask you to perform the bris?
Families sometimes contact me before the baby is born to ask questions and get comfortable with me. Once the baby is born, I ask families to call me as soon as they can so that I can appropriately schedule the Bris.
How do you ask parents to prepare themselves and the baby?
I have a check list of items necessary for the Bris on my website (www.mybris.com). I also include a list of honors so that the parents can start to think about who they would like to include in the ceremony.
What happens after the Bris? Do you follow up with parents? What if the parents are concerned about something?
After the Bris, I examine the baby once more and review aftercare instructions with the parents. I call the following day to check-in again. I advise all families to call me anytime day or night if they are concerned about anything.
Do you work with interfaith couples, same-sex couples, adopted children? Do any of these issues change how you conduct the bris?
Since I am a Conservative Mohelet, I will work with interfaith couples if the mother is Jewish and the family has chosen to raise their child with Judaism as his only religion.
For interfaith couples with a non-Jewish mother, I advise them to speak with a Rabbi about their intentions and the possibility of converting the child to Judaism.
With same-sex Jewish couples- who birth their own children there are no additional issues.
For adopted children, I work with Rabbis to help guide the family through the conversion.
Every family is unique and I advise all families with questions about Brit Milah to call or email me and I will be happy to help them in any way that I can.
